Patricide

I had tried killed all manifestations of "Father",

Since receiving this cursed idol, 

It turned my matrons into witches,

Until I was blessed with comprehension,

I was lost in a place that seemed timeless,

Fanstiysing patricide,

Ended for once on my own terms,
Guilty of the thousands of times after.

The internal was hardest to cleanse,

It had built-up barriers for me blunder through,

Scratching the surface was the most painful way in,

I dug with a frenzy, Intent to purge,

As if I would strike a silver vein,

The prospect of some great wealth within,

Heaved up with the same spent hands, 

Roused by the carrot and the stick.

I was guided into the arms of an immortal green giant,

And in comfort, I justified the substitute,

I needed an excuse to look down on something,

Scared of where I had found myself,

I'd wince at the thought of the inevitable fall,

Only after my back touched the ground did I laugh,

What once looked strange from far away,

I could hardly wait to get closer too.

This road I've rebuilt is the same path I walk,
I've missed crucial features, through the monotony of the step, 

The dirt between my toes reminding me why I jumped,

I make these mirages real, to keep me walking,

Heart set for imaginary paradise,

Convinced you were nothing but a shadow,

Where never looking back meant never looking up

Maybe in this old darkness, I'll wander back to reality.