When life gives you lemons, stick to lemonade

Sometimes life will hand you a bunch of lemons, only a few of which you will to keep, perhaps because your lemonade will get to sour? or perhaps you cannot hold as many lemons as life wants to give you. So you keep the quaint group of lemons and you drink up the perfectly balanced soda.

Occasionally life will give you a lemon bigger and more ripe than the rest, this lemon is clearly better than any other you have revived and as good as you think the lemon will taste in the lemonade you think this one may make an exceptional cheesecake or meringue pie. so you go through the process of getting the ingredients needed to create this new masterpiece, assembling them and making sure the measurements of ingredients are as exact as you can get them. However sometimes you can overcook a cheesecake or a pie and ruin it entirely, some may be salvaged and taste great, but the overall product is a waste of what could have been more great lemonade. leave a lemon pie in the over too long and it will spoil, to short and it wont be done and you will have to wait even longer to appreciate its taste.

My lemonade tastes great, my lemons are great but occasionally i will fuck up a new recipe and this in turn makes me doubt my own ability's to cook.

What i'm saying here is: Don't leave the good lemons in the oven too long.

My Fault

I don't know what to write, i guess i should say i deserve the opinion you have on me.
but i feel as though if you gave me a chance i wouldn't be as lame as you may think.




DEPRESSION IS FOR SQUARES.

Only you can overcome the struggle that is life

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. 

It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self. 

Therefore, trust the physician and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility.

Jinjuuriki Syndrome

a state of a person wherein he /she feels utterly alone, abandoned, that nobody loves him/her, that there is like a black hole or an endless pit hole in his/her heart. Feels that nobody loves, understands or more often than not, thinks that people are afraid of him/her. And sometimes may lead to anger or pessimistic approach in life. but if found the right people, may result to being hard working, lively, fun to be with or a good friend.

How did I get here?

Strange to think that at some point in my life i had dreams of owning a home overseas with 3 people i don't speak to anymore for reasons to adult for my current state of being.

Its weird to think that i was actually brought up in a culdasac in London, my mother pregnant with my sister at the age of 17 in a rough area, its weird that I've seen a man be stabbed multiple times.

Even more weird to think that we moved to such a small area to "Get away from it all", pretty cool that she went to Uni, twice, to give us a better future.

Damn it's hard to think about when i was in year 4-11 i was the worst student ever, i was such a little wimp,  had no charisma, never even spoken to a girl besides my mum and my friend group consisted of two dudes.

Its hard to think i'd sit playing Halo 3 for 6-12 hours everyday after school, not knowing or caring what alcohol was, not knowing or caring what drugs were and i wouldn't even bat an eyelash at the thought of a girl.

Its Hard to think that in year 11 a girl actually made me scrap all those ideas and in turn change me entirely, and at the same time its weird to think its all her doing that i even passed my GCSE's, this kinda makes me happy.

Its odd to think that even after this i joined a christian youth group and became friends with people that would introduce me to something more awesome than anyone.

I find it hard to believe that those where my streak of luck started there and finished there, its hard to think i found a job, started a relationship, spoke once to my father, gained a stable friend group and for some reason got this God like charisma, Its like my only good feature.

It sucks that with age and experience i got this horrible life mindset, sure it makes me more useful in a sense but its something i feel i could do without, i enjoyed year 12 jay, he was carefree and happy.

Now i'm here, i went from a little shit, to i guess a bigger shit? but less of an immature shit, and more realism asshole.

How'd i get here?

Kommand of Krust

Ku- Ku- Ku- Ku- Ku- Ku-Krust!

Musky as hell,

Gross! (gross!).

Ew.

Baby gurl, dont go, babyyy gurrlll.

END.

FIN.

(A little Poem for Kirsty Dunk, formerly known as Krust - hope you're doing well)

Thought Distillery

Lacking in any kind of thought that wouldn't be an indirect message to someone who may read this, my mind brews with things i want to say but there are people who may not want to hear it. But saying this without saying it i know not weather how they would react.

The things i want to say involve

1. Regret
2. Paranoia
3. Fear
4. And a Picnic 

It seems the more I try to connect with the world
I am feeling more alone than I ever have felt before
I wanna pick up the phone, ask my dad how to handle it
But what will happen cause my dad’s not there to answer it?