Submerger

Moments mirror the tides,
Sea sick riding the waves,
Skipped a pond into the ocean,
Bounced from rock bottom a smaller stone,
Cracked glass mixed environments,
Bottled messages turned trap,
Flowed from currents that called,
Perforating worth with words,
Breached the surface of the self,
Found disdain for the reflected,
Evaded with no choice in direction,
Back to the old love of sand and mud,
Real cold solace swallowed whole,
By imaginary scavengers,
There was always color down here,
In the blue that blends to black,
The red which rise to white,
An integral smothering,
And the refreshing suffocation of the night.

Seedling (Short)

We were just seedlings oblivious too all,
The dirt is for growth or comfort when we fall,
You stem,
I stretch,
Extend and then heighten,
To the ones up above whose lives are enlightened,
I peeked the sun through you,
I stay stunted,
She has proceeded the weeds i just confronted,
I practiced patience
And contemplation,
Through these foundations,
You've fueled my creation,
But they've grown too much,
I'm holding them back,
I wither,
And whats left of my petals turn black.

Imagination to explain the exaggeration of my ironic self imposed desperation.

I'm a premeditated toy soldier,
When we play we play; but its serious,
This guns is as fake as your tears,
My war is as real as my pleasure,
These battles all fought for years,
My mixture of lethal and leisure,
Armed to the teeth with apathy,
Striving for a comfortable anarchy,
Amidst the reds of blood and love,
I press my wounds to spur me.

I'm a three eyed Sheppard,
I tell myself they were lost to the wolves,
Out the back of my head i saw them hop the fence,
They ask me how i saw them die,
And how my wool can be so dense,
My declaration as the singularity,
Amidst these beings who look so much like me,
Is masqueraded as passion and energy,
But holds nothing but confident irony,
Yet some still flock to me and form my feigned harmony.

I'm a third gen thrift shop cyborg,
I knew disappointment was a fuel when i converted,
Ditched the manual before i put the work in,
I took reality and put it in computers,
Swapping hands became a comfortable maneuver,
Hardened my skin and watched out for insipid shooters,
Iron eyes weighted and scraping by my sides,
I've seen in black, white, hindsight and even megabytes,
Even with all these upgrades combined,
This tech when applied only dampened my mind.

I'm the creature so rare it doesn't exist,
You people paid and have come for nothing,
Yet you hobble together on mass to see,
Something completely oblivious to me,
Curious of something that isn't there,
I'll take on the colors and adopt the flare,
Put in the care to make it a reality,
For a hope of invading your sanity,
Be at the mercy of my expressions,
As i struggle to leave an impression.

Was working on another passion project! Xpect content soon

Slight Hiatus on the poems, i was infrequently writing while i was working on my own custom Pathfinder adventure path, as well as this i got a new 7-5 job which is super draining, sometimes im too tired to feel anything (but im gunna talk to my boss about a slight hour reduction). With whatever free time i had after work i worked on this Dungeons and dragons piece.

It racked up a total of 30,000 words and 60 pages worth of material, quite a lengthy piece of work. Super irrelevant to my usual writing but it became a passion project since i knew my best friends would experience it with me. (if you'd like me to post it here give me a message and become the first person to message me on this platform... if you can even do that..).

That's all gone to shit now, something i treasure gone for the tie being.
Replaced that with classic wow and hey presto you have a recipe for time wasted!
But its fuel for the fire and i'm currently working on some new pieces for those of you who are still reading!

My b,

Jay

Creature Comforts

Prime evils,
Crafted in the crucible,
Monstrously beautiful,
Comfortably unusual,
Taught from empathetic needs,
Torn from sympathetic deeds,
Forged from flame this physical fiend,
Formed these telepathic beings.

Prepared patricide,
Baring tooth and claws,
Clad in scales and spikes,
Sharp impartial jaws,
The legion grows in numbers,
Shriveled husks of men,
Each generation,
Purpose-built,
Died time and time again.

Mental mitosis,
My own corrupt creations,
These creatures stumbled awkwardly,
Caught constantly mocking me,
Evolving tribulations,
Constructs that weren't built to bleed,
They replicate with such a speed,
Envy, anger, sorrow, greed,
The offspring are a different breed.

Duplicate eyes,
Through the windows of a nine to five,
The reflection is reflecting something sleep deprived,
The infestation isn't something simply exorcised,
It took time to try but then they had organized,
One by one,
To and fro,
Custom by design,
Methodical monsters marching,
Built for Sieging different lines.


(if i could draw there would be a picture of a brain, with a bunch of tubes which come out of the brain into different colored monsters)

Sights of Fire

Found a fire on the lakefront,
Another moment missed,
Doused it for its embers,
Burned a hand or two just to hold them,
These temporary selfish treasures,
Skimmed them, steaming off the shore,
Reflecting off the water,
My own little galaxy,
A pocket of peace disturbed by me,
Prophet of light in the darkness,
King of the shooting stars,
The man who filled the void,
An orbital tyrant, with a variety of lavish belts,
Just a boy, head held down, at the bay,
Visions escaped with smoke fused winds,
Recording each second i sink,
To figure out what i'm made of,
Drowning, a stones throw from the water,
Made myself melancholy for the warmth of the fire,
Looked up to see what i was compensating for.

Anti Poem (Or Track 2 of Some Gave All)

I pulled out all the stops,
Unfortunately i parked my car on an icy hill,
I just watched that bitch crash,
Still had the audacity to ask how it got like that,
Kept a casual tenacity towards my undoing.

Had a scapegoat summer in the works,
Sensations through the shade in this scorching season,
Some dinner, a dance and some fleeting daylight,
A trillion ways to say how i feel,
Mostly they've already been said by someone else somewhere else...

Played basketball with a footballer,
And the game didn't even matter a fouls a foul,
But we'll have fond memories of the first half, at-least,
I don't even like sports,
But you got me kitted in red for a game of kerby.

I don't bleed ink for just anybody,
Ashamed to write about things like this,
It's like airing my dirty laundry,
But i'll look over my neighbors fence and see theirs,
Caked, how can i complain?
If i held up a candle i'd explode,
But i cant really bottle much more, i'm overflowing.

Things get a bit too much a little too often,
There are less aesthetic ways i can express how i feel,
Less attractive to everyone else, anyway,
And for once i don't want to sugar coat anything,
Sweet tooth ignored,
My energy, like cavities it's apparently entropic.

"I'm done with the imagery",
Another lie to trade for a little comfort,
Tell myself i'm made of something else,
Imagine i'm tempered glass,
A bolder,
An iceberg,
Skin and bone.
Shatter,
Smash,
Sink,
Bleed and break.

Prost

Nostalgia remembered,
My stomach turned blender,
These butterflies all swarmed to dust,
Silence is deadly, 
The tumbleweed friendly,
Begging the sun to adjust.

Faulty clocks have ticked us off,
Eyes on a different set of faces,
A star shines bright, 
Inadvertently makes night,
In the dark under streetlamps for traces.

Part of me wants to be manic,
To get flustered or not, it'll be,
An interesting test of my character,
I have got a lot to doubt,  
And even more to figure out.

Nothing Gained Nothing Ventured

It's been a while since the spark died,

I've been a lot more lost than awake,
Do i dream for the sake of myself?
Or slowly suffer to the hands of fate?

Passions that never should have happened,

In hindsight things his mind could not fathom,
Tears so deep, he can't fill that chasm,

So blame it on chemical chain reactions.

Concepts that are non responsive,
Deciphering this psyche is a lot to process,
Insulated by the ignorant and thoughtless,
Then bricked behind a wall of subtle nuances.

Hell birthed a babe that should not exist,
Monochrome madness disguised as a gift,
Heavens forbid this impossible kid,
Everything he touches crumbles to bits.

Cant push a boy already on the ground,

He's a hangman prince with a noose for a crown,
Stood at the ledge, neck crooked looking down,
Sea shows the clown who reminds him to drown,
How'd you get lost in the crowd?

When the crowds in your room, you invited them here,
How'd you speculate on the cost?
When the cost its the same as your previous peers,
How'd you get lost on the way?
When the ways on the map and the routes pretty clear,
How'd you pick up on the mood?
When the moods change faster than these 24 years.



Im 24 in like 5 days sue me.

My Round Table

Internal load of heretics,
Quell this chemical uprising,
My insides wont stay the same for long.

Demons sewn in the veil,
Well suited and bound to arms,
Ill fit, but its worn as a three piece.

Shogun of the mind,
Tears could rend all but flesh,
Draw your blade on the mirrored whetstone.

Accuser in a bottle,
Stoic warped reflections,
The glass might last as long as you.

Night's chosen hero,
Driven sane by his quest,
Seeking madness through experience.

Monochrome convict,
The cage is just a concept,
Scratching on the void just seems desperate.




Here are the original notes for this piece which eventually became the above:

Inner voices stirred by love, rabble v rabble
 recycled literally and figuratively to the next
Mistakes and traumas worn like Armour, an incomplete but ongoing set, maybe shines and collectibles
The voice of violent reason, guided and molded by ????entropic??? sadness
Bottled feelings given life inside, maybe reflected in said glass
In the darkness writing for the self gives self centered clarity
Things arent allways black and white but we are bound to one or th other, sometimes both
but on the gran scheme of things the black and white misses out pretty much every other color

Baby Collard

Eat your greens though its suggested not to smoke them,
Nature nurture is it a habit or a routine?
Raised these roots up in this concrete flowerbed,
Surprised to see them, fuck it we'll cut them anyway.
These cycling blades wont look right on your insides,
Split the whittled rings that bar you from the blossom,
Try to struggle through some cracks in the alleyways,
Savor seconds in the sunlight or the acid rain,
Mimicry of the breeze that you dance with,
Wrestle weeds for some streaks of the sky's gold,
Seedless ethics pollinate the plant's perception,
You've been pruned, cloned and put on display,
The framed crisis stemmed here, sprouted cynosure,
Green thumbs tend the start of the undergrowth,
Mother nature only cared when you were grown,
Subtle saplings start their journey introverted,
Integrate the night and looked upon the doubting eye,
So much light exists, you know its not for you.

Life Until White Noise - Slam 4

Lucid or Learned,
Dreams or reality,
The guidelines memorized,
Lacking in clarity.

Try to start a confession,
Stumble among these words,
Staggered around these subjects,
Struggled to be heard.

Sights on that emerald titan,
Main man acting a child,
Put on those big boy breeches,
Run my mouth for a while.

All the signs were present,
These words we couldn't doubt,
I went and crunched the numbers,
The math it all checks out,

Got the science to back it,
Chemicals under the tongue,
Can we enjoy this moment,
At least while we're still young.

Will i still make sense?
Did i dose to strong?
These trips are so nostalgic,
This could feel so wrong.

Lost in my own instructions,

Always read too deep,
I could drown myself,

Wet the page in ink and sleep.

Sins buried in silence,
Submerged in the crowd,

Sentenced to violence

Cant help but project it aloud.

Penitentiary days,
Set this prison ablaze,
Flee in complete silence,
Scents will give me away,
Wasn't an easy escape,
But we made it a mission,
Intended all out war,
Degraded into attrition,
burned, bruised and riddled,
Fought the flames and the system,
Till white noise.

3 Dinge

Blue, grey, green,
Crazy spectrum for a rainbow,
So we flowed down the river,
Anxious magnets half achromatic,
Gathered vibrant moss,
The journey was the treasure.

Draw, lose, win,
Silver tongue siren its late for the night,
Unlikely hypothetical,
Swapped it for some history,
Traced the line down your body,
My artistry's a mystery to you.

Drained, sleep, dream
Twin entendre for this cycle so persistent,
Zealous marble spires,
Swarmed by ants from overseas,
These shelved jungles could be prisons,
Aged rings made knowledge.

Mouth, Eyes, skin,
Practical description for the blind,
Tend to the internal terrarium,
That noise is ravenous butterflies,
Subtle honors lace death theory,
Then we smothered it in comedy.



Or maybe i need therapy.
(Who doesn't?)