3rd Wall

Facing the third wall and I’m still hurting from the first two
-Logic dictates there is another wall behind this one.
No pain no game, but this third one doesn't look easy
-Logic dictates that you can break through this one like the last 2.
The second one wasn't easy but i was still fresh, this'll hurt 
-Logic dictates something will break by the end of this.
It’s not bad here; I can just wait it out, right?
-Logic dictates stagnation will lead to the end.
Doesn’t everything lead to an end? 

-Logic dictates stagnation will serve no one. 

It'll save me from pain...
-Logic dictates there will be much pain before the end.
Pain in the name of?? 

Ego decides  in the name of the self.
Greed is quick to agree.
Fear and sadness are undecided, 
Lust yearns for pain with everyone.
Love declared for one which used to be you. 

Fear and sadness are undecided, 
-Logic conflicted and overwritten.
Fine, third wall.
Destroy or be destroyed.
...
It was always going to be another wall.

KIKO MILANO - 假曬黑 - Jia Shai Hei

It wasn’t easy at first, but you heal. 
You move on. Common sense can make your worst thoughts real. 
You wonder how you could ever let a person like that control you.
And topple the foundation that made me whole,

Freshly coated and forced to rebuild a new .

(it rhymes more than its relevant, but it's still relevant) 

In A Russian Mountain (头巾)

They told you at the end of the tunnel was something worth losing yourself for. 

You were ambitious and greedy,
But now you are stuck in the middle,
Your torch blew out days ago and with it the last of your hope,
The guide that found you was lost too,
Weary at first tried to lead you as best he could.
It was dark and cramped so you did not follow him with certainty,
But with two it was warm and homely,
You were famished and who wants to walk alone?
The whistles now carried hindsight with them,
Where before they carried a complex lunacy. 

The intricacy now beautiful, 

Abstained until now from this new warmth, 

To fill the void around and within

and for a time there was light. 

There were fights,
Casualties and signs of betrayal at first,
But there was always respect,
Always peace,
Always a payoff.
You would get stronger from this,
And even if you were stranded,
You'd be stranded together.

Pile Up

Pile up like an ant hill,

Take a nest inside,

That's a queen worth feeding, for that queen i would die.

Pile up like a mountain,

Stand your ground and wait,
These tremors change you for the better, until you brim with hate.

Pile up like the firewood,

Bide your time and freeze,

The winter's harsh but you have learnt to take the frost with ease.

Pile up like the hours,

You lose from day to day,

Regret is strong yet time is stronger, this beast you cannot slay.

Pile up like an ashtray,

Burn it all away,

You are lower than the roaches, addicted to each day.

Pile up like the laundry,

Worn out, worn in and down,

The clothes you own aren't meant for you, they've been from town to town.

Words to help me meditate

Neutrality takes the major province of the mind

society had filled to the brim as sections fell back upon one and other 

It won the election for this quarter and ordered a full cleanse

While the mental city sleeps after an intense bout,

The night workers rise to do the clean up no one else wants to do

Neutrality, modest and patient tends to woes built up by the community

Citizens rest easy, the way paved and secured by an absent mind

The coming months uncertain in action but certain in change 

Who will win the next quarter? 

&

As a watcher you can be impartial

Separation is key, empathy makes for more intricate discovery

Observe long enough and you see the cracks in anything

The ripples in the flesh, the roots to thoughts and actions

The end sought before the middle, the easy way, the hard way or its own way

Things so lost you could see them more than they see themselves

Emotions tainted and twisted, feelings flipped and warped
Changing pain into something longed for

sorrow abused like heroin until sorrow is no more

A husk all that's left and a fix never ending, until it ends 

 &

Whos the best in the battleground?

who here is free to fight?

what conflict is healthy?

what conflict is right?
which battle means well?
which parts are lies?
When do they take place?
when all parties die.

It doesn't have to make sense, it just sounds nice and helps me relax.

I guess if they had to have names they'd be. 

1. Mind State
2. Dummy Eyes
3. WWWW