Cinderellapocalypse

You are no star but you could sparkle out of this cosmos,
The sun would turn green pushed from its centre,
Black holes spit at an even further than their horizons,
The creeping universal darkness slows to be quelled,
A paradox, you are the darkness which highlights,
Centrifugal in the spotlight; you are the spotlight,
Iridescent, you resonate the spectrum,
The passing dust can only watch the endless rebirth and ruin,
Jealous and yearning, a phase, a spec, a fleeting moment.
How could one comet affect the infinite?

Watchers (Slam attempt 3)

As a watcher you can be impartial.

Separation is imposed but is also the key,

Empathy makes for more intricate yet scaring progression.

Patience in your own personal everlasting universe is meaningless,

Because you could wait,

With the weight of the world on your shoulders forever.

Observe long enough and people become as routine as the seconds

Like the grandfather clock you can wind and maintain them,

Unlike the grandfather clock are their variables, 

The subtle personalised change in the pendulum swing.

Intimate with this object you can notice the cracks, the damage.

The ripples in actions,

The roots to problems and the occasional solution.

And with the last seconds sought before the first, the minutes are wasted.

And amongst the hours and countless cycles people lose themselves,

Emotions and empathy are all emptied.

You can tell time? Time is terrorized, tainted and twisted.

What remains are the watchers.

http://www.deviantart.com/art/Watchers-279177022 - artwork

If you were to take anything from this... Infact i'd prefer if you took a bunch of things.

Take a second, lean back in your mind.

Take comfort, a seat above time.

Take nostalgia as if free from all crime.

Take the light and use it to shine,

On the truth, and the lies will unwind.

Unwind all the days we combined,

Leave you with dismay on your mind.

Take pleasure, from when you were prime.

Take love, from when you were mine.

Take our actions and draw us a line,

Or you interpret something divine.

This design was flawed at best,

Pieced together with the rest of the mess,

Wasn't built to endure our stress,

But you arose from the rubble feeling blessed.

Take health, lessons from child.

Take anger, reverse to the wild.

Take vengeance, from which you've compiled, 

A list of the times that you've smiled.
The similarity, looking back with clarity,
There are times where you still can't match the rarity,
There are times when you cant see the severity.

You cannot run the race and take the prize without a catch.

Take time, reflect on the match.

Take the distance you need to detach,

Everybody wants to worship something they can't catch.

3rd Wall

Facing the third wall and I’m still hurting from the first two
-Logic dictates there is another wall behind this one.
No pain no game, but this third one doesn't look easy
-Logic dictates that you can break through this one like the last 2.
The second one wasn't easy but i was still fresh, this'll hurt 
-Logic dictates something will break by the end of this.
It’s not bad here; I can just wait it out, right?
-Logic dictates stagnation will lead to the end.
Doesn’t everything lead to an end? 

-Logic dictates stagnation will serve no one. 

It'll save me from pain...
-Logic dictates there will be much pain before the end.
Pain in the name of?? 

Ego decides  in the name of the self.
Greed is quick to agree.
Fear and sadness are undecided, 
Lust yearns for pain with everyone.
Love declared for one which used to be you. 

Fear and sadness are undecided, 
-Logic conflicted and overwritten.
Fine, third wall.
Destroy or be destroyed.
...
It was always going to be another wall.

KIKO MILANO - 假曬黑 - Jia Shai Hei

It wasn’t easy at first, but you heal. 
You move on. Common sense can make your worst thoughts real. 
You wonder how you could ever let a person like that control you.
And topple the foundation that made me whole,

Freshly coated and forced to rebuild a new .

(it rhymes more than its relevant, but it's still relevant) 

In A Russian Mountain (头巾)

They told you at the end of the tunnel was something worth losing yourself for. 

You were ambitious and greedy,
But now you are stuck in the middle,
Your torch blew out days ago and with it the last of your hope,
The guide that found you was lost too,
Weary at first tried to lead you as best he could.
It was dark and cramped so you did not follow him with certainty,
But with two it was warm and homely,
You were famished and who wants to walk alone?
The whistles now carried hindsight with them,
Where before they carried a complex lunacy. 

The intricacy now beautiful, 

Abstained until now from this new warmth, 

To fill the void around and within

and for a time there was light. 

There were fights,
Casualties and signs of betrayal at first,
But there was always respect,
Always peace,
Always a payoff.
You would get stronger from this,
And even if you were stranded,
You'd be stranded together.

Pile Up

Pile up like an ant hill,

Take a nest inside,

That's a queen worth feeding, for that queen i would die.

Pile up like a mountain,

Stand your ground and wait,
These tremors change you for the better, until you brim with hate.

Pile up like the firewood,

Bide your time and freeze,

The winter's harsh but you have learnt to take the frost with ease.

Pile up like the hours,

You lose from day to day,

Regret is strong yet time is stronger, this beast you cannot slay.

Pile up like an ashtray,

Burn it all away,

You are lower than the roaches, addicted to each day.

Pile up like the laundry,

Worn out, worn in and down,

The clothes you own aren't meant for you, they've been from town to town.

Words to help me meditate

Neutrality takes the major province of the mind

society had filled to the brim as sections fell back upon one and other 

It won the election for this quarter and ordered a full cleanse

While the mental city sleeps after an intense bout,

The night workers rise to do the clean up no one else wants to do

Neutrality, modest and patient tends to woes built up by the community

Citizens rest easy, the way paved and secured by an absent mind

The coming months uncertain in action but certain in change 

Who will win the next quarter? 

&

As a watcher you can be impartial

Separation is key, empathy makes for more intricate discovery

Observe long enough and you see the cracks in anything

The ripples in the flesh, the roots to thoughts and actions

The end sought before the middle, the easy way, the hard way or its own way

Things so lost you could see them more than they see themselves

Emotions tainted and twisted, feelings flipped and warped
Changing pain into something longed for

sorrow abused like heroin until sorrow is no more

A husk all that's left and a fix never ending, until it ends 

 &

Whos the best in the battleground?

who here is free to fight?

what conflict is healthy?

what conflict is right?
which battle means well?
which parts are lies?
When do they take place?
when all parties die.

It doesn't have to make sense, it just sounds nice and helps me relax.

I guess if they had to have names they'd be. 

1. Mind State
2. Dummy Eyes
3. WWWW

Facade

How many times do these crocodile tears
Turn a little real and reveal my fears
Melt away my sorrows with the previous years
Remind me that i'm missing all my devious peers
Remind me of the states that i've lost and found
Remind me of friends who are never around
I hope they're safe and sound

Meaningful Music (tell me your favorite albums)

Music in my ears and mind,
Swelling and conflicting in genre,
A cesspool of violence and peace,
Radiating in perfect contextual harmony,
Guidance through conformity,
The ability to break free,
To recall any memory,
To think deep and get sleep.

Music Just means a shit load to me.


2010-2011 
Wincing The Night away by The Shins 

This was a time of weird teenage first love, a lot of feelings and no idea what to do with any of them. This album was an accurate representation of me in 2010 just a mess but the kind of mess you're comfortable with.

Wincing the Night away was something i was hesitant of at first because at the time i was against this "type of music", now its a source of limitless joy and a lot of nostalgia. Its a beautiful masterpiece with lyrics that stick and some beautiful poetry. 

My earliest memory's of this album are just lying in bed with my friends, i like to think of this album as a gift from someone to me.

Favorite tracks: 'Red Rabbits' & 'Sea Legs'

Tourist History by Two Door Cinema Club 

A lovely girl called Beth showed me this band when we were young, i was instantly hooked, this was the type of music i would exclusively listen too when i was a kid and this album sets the milestone in my opinion for pop/indie.

I remember it as a day starting album and a breakup album, something i listened too on a holiday that was exciting. Yet i still had the overhanging feelings of the times related to this album. A lot of scenic driving and sailing to this album, sunsets and beach strolls to a melancholy sounds. Most of all i see it as an album with a moving positive message, a cry that things will work out and to enjoy the life we have.

Favorite tacks: 'Eat that up, its good for you' & 'Do you want it all'


2011-2012
Camp by Childish Gambino

This album, which comes from a personal idol of mine, had messages which i think specifically spoke to me at the time. Raps about being a minority in an all white community, parental struggles that weren't necessarily "run of the mill", being the class clown and getting back up from failures.

The album is essentially an "embrace you and do it best" and states that with a bold array of tongue twisting verses and clever pop culture references, which will have you realizing what the 4th meaning to that line was 30 plays later. 

Its a story, one which you can latch parts of you life to and take comfort in that these troubles are not just your own.

Favorite Tracks: 'L.E.S' & 'That Power'

Metaphorical Music by Nujabes

Going through a bit of a obsession with Japan at the time i looked into some Asian artists and was blessed with the late Nujabes. 

He was a master of incorporating unique sounds and beats into complex but at the same time simple tracks and melodies. The production value in this album was and is unmatched, it feels like the ghetto moved to feudal Japan and really keeps to its roots.

An all round classic that has songs for every taste, Nujabes dances with skill through multiple genres adding his own spin to them. he tells many tales and preaches many messages but his legacy lives on in his work. Not a day goes by where something beautiful reminds me of his tragic passing. 

Rest in piece.

Favorite tracks: 'Lady Brown' & 'Highs 2 Lows'

2012-2013

Nostalgia Ultra by Frank Ocean

Channel Orange would be on here if this album wasn't 10x better (in its own right). This whole album gives me the mindset of a Hollywood celeb living it up on the little things which would be huge for a regular person. Talks of nature, love, loss, slavery, ancestry, addiction and culture all meld together for a truly nostalgic ULTRA album. 

I don't remember much of 2012 but i do remember listening to this whenever i could, i'd go on walks just to imagine i was in a sweet music video! with Frank serenading you from track to track this album feels personal, direct and from the heart. Ive led with friends for hours listening to franks music.

Favorite tracks: 'Nature Feels & 'We All Try'

2013-2014
WOLF by Tyler the Creator

Oh boy, The first album to make me feel more black than i ever had before. This album unlocked a ironic ignorance within me. This nasty, musky filth (in the best way possible) is the culmination of a man who is still learning the world (Im 21 what do i know). He wants to say his piece. It feels like (and is) a story. Tyler got his grove here, he found his sound. i remember looking at his earlier work and hating it at this point. Something about goblin and bastard really made me hate Tyler the first few listens. But then it just clicked. This specific album sparked my journey into different medias.

Austria is where i remember this album the most, it came out the day of a snowboard trip and i was scared that Austria wouldn't have anything that'd let me get it, so i stayed up till 12AM to download it before we flew off to another country... Mountains, ski lifts a blizzard, a romance and a 18 hour buss journey, all this with WOLF at the peak.  Favorite tracks: 'Rusty' & 'Cowboy'

Because The Internet By childish Gambino

Here comes Gambino at another monumental time in my life, a huge transition in friendship groups, online presence and social status's. All things which Gambino covers in this Clever and experimental album. Hes back again with lyrics that make other rappers seem 2 dimensional. 

With this album Bino covers all levels of emotion, from the cocky uprising to the fall back to the dirt. this album came out during what still is the best new year to me and an amazing December. He wanted his album out in the winter because he thought we felt more emotions during these times. In his own right he explains that hes been through it all and through rap and song try's to help you or maybe hes just expressing himself

.

Favorite Tracks: 'The Worst Guys' & 'Sweatpants'

Plastic Beach by Gorillaz

So many nights under stars that year, both real and fake to the songs on this album, images of lying on a beach with my friends, embracing my loved ones and all around good times come to mind when i think of this album. it has something for everyone, with features from Little Dragon to Mos Def, truly a pick'n'Mix. 

Hours spent listening to this masterpiece with Lyd, Charley, Jack and Joe. this might be our theme album... It feels spacey and psychedelic and is easily one of the best Gorillaz albums, this album rises to the top for its production value and features which never fail to impress. 

Favorite Tracks 'Empire Ants' & On Melancholy Hill' 

2014-2015
A Different Kind Of Fix by Bombay Bicycle Club

I was very late to the Bombay band wagon, in fact i remember criticizing them when i was younger without listening to any of their songs. I discovered this beauty at a friends family dinner while at Uni and even had a huge dance with said family. 

This album brings me so much joy! i would listen to it with my friend Erin sometimes and it was the soundtrack to my second snowboarding trip! so i have fond memory of the scenery of Bulgaria and this in the background and weirdly just a sense of comfort for the old times. The journey was amazing, the snowboarding was amazing and this fit right in with Bulgaria's quiet and minimalist style. 

Favorite tracks: 'Lights out, words gone' & 'Beg'

Nabuma Rubberband by Little Dragon
Swansea has a lot of hills and my original playlist lacked the energy to conquer these hills, then suddenly i was blessed with the erratically brilliant Little dragon. with such a unique singing style mixed with a very experimental but bold electro beat, Little dragon introduced me to a faster and more upbeat form of music.

Swansea beaches in the spring and hilarious nights in my uni accommodations flood back to me from every track of this awesome album. With each track changing the pace just a little bit the deep but powerful lead voice spins you with mixed emotions as she hits both lower and higher notes than the DJ does.

Favroite tracks: 'Nabuma Rubberband' & 'Underbart'

2015-Current
Darwin Dees by Darwin Dees
Another breakup album i'm afraid, but not one without equal parts happy to sad. Half of this album was effectively used to combat my man whines. Hitting you with a deep and cryptic message about social construct and humanity's place in the world as well as his struggles as a hopeless romantic make this album is one of my more "clever" loves.

Saw him live at Truck festival for the first time, before that i'd never heard of him. I fell in love with the energy at that show and his love for what he does, this album shifts me back to festival days, better days!

Favorite Tracks: 'The Suicide Song' & 'Deep Sea Divers'


To Pimp a Butterfly by Kendrick Lamar

Year 2 and 3 have been tough, this album was the slap in the face i needed at the time. A milestone in hip-hop i am lucky to be able to have experienced. Kendrick is a lyrical genius and i'd put all his other albums in here if i wouldn't have to write another 2000 words but his other albums are almost as good as this one.

This album took me out of a writers block and inspired me to attempt to be on a level with Kendrick which admittedly is impossible but the man makes you dream big!

Cooking breakfast with my friends and dancing in the kitchen on sunny days, house party's and end of night conversations all spring to mind as a sweep the track list and the tracks sweep back.

Favorite Tracks: 'These Walls' and 'Institutionalized' 

Special Mentions

Update: 1

I'll do this update thing every sort of 4-6 poems or something.
This is a more literal outlet, things i don't have to code in poetry but things i want to talk/write about.
Putting them on here is like releasing them from my brain all the pepped up rabble about how i'm feeling, what particular mindset i was im at a certain time of year, archives baby.

So 3rd year is ugly stressful, i didn't think it would be easy but this is totally not what i had expected and its almost over. Right now i'm comfortable, I've gotten comfortable in this student mindset and from what i can tell the real world is nothing like we've been taught for the past 3 years, which brings me to the whole "is this worth it" conundrum (that's a 13,000 word report i'd at least find some joy in writing) when this independence is taken from me briefly i dare to think how it will go.

I'm feeling pretty neutral about everything right now with a splash of anxiety for the next year and what it will bring.

I took time out of my night to literally draw my feels in paint. ------>

After years of cold calculation my ideal job as a corpse is a pretty unrealistic goal. you could goul'ify yourself in so many ways and the pay off would be great! but not practical, and i'm all about practicality! the looming fear that things will get more complex is crippling no doubt! and the sarcasm still only helps slightly.
I lack purpose and i feel 100% aware of myself, I've studied myself for years but i haven't loved me for years and with age comes realization that knowledge and love are not even close as vague as that description is.

with more uni work comes the pushing away of my art and with so much to pursue its a real dampener to see it all be pushed to the side. I have some pieces in the works and each new day brings inspiration, no matter how dull and repetitive the day is. my mind has this habit of running a lot of "what ifs" and randomized scenarios through my head and although its enjoyable it has kept me up times i'd rather have been sleeping and some of them do make me question my sanity a little bit.

So! i wont be posting poetry as frequently until this cluster fuck year is over but i can post some pieces that i abandoned if that is something anyone would be interested in? and i have other things to pursue at the moment, poetry and writing has taken the front seat of my life for the last 4 years and i'd like to give music a try,i'm 4 tracks into a mix-tape and i'm having a'lot of fun with it! (it's for fun), i enjoy rapping and i dare say i'm in love with music but I've even brought a guitar! and i'm thinking of doing a bad drawing every now and then too.

Peace
J

New Year New Blues

Grateful for wasted time,
A year, a month, a week or day.
Nothing has changed, there is no peace,
And rain like war is constant in life,
When you look from within what do you see?
Because the reflection i'm seeing says otherwise,
Feed on deception you're caked from head to toe,
The mirror can cut but shows the sharp truth,
Watch a first world offender wield a scalpel,
Picture healing turned to branding,
Bitter like the child inside him,
He’s a boy and a man, 
And the man punishes the boy.
The same sentence to silence,

The same step for the ill-behaved,
Justified to a court of doppelgangers,

Though you could easily be one of them,
You could bare the fruits of a labor undone,

And once the guilty shares their spoils,
Everybody eats regardless of their shame.
So respond to a responsibility and take hold of a destiny,
Hopefully more interesting than your own,
Or be a lowly creature,
But decide.  Because the guideline is higher than you. 

Don't be scared. Be confused and driven.
Happy new year btw my like, 4 readers.

I have: Questions 2

What parts of me do you see when you look at someone else?
What kind of person do you turn to when you've lost yourself?
What would you be if not for me, an alternate i'd dare to see
For all that pain and intimacy, maybe the dream was to far.
Was i right to hold you tight, when this is where we are.

Whats it mean to be alone when comforts all you know?
When vanity is plain to see and covering your woes
Inside your head actions project the wounds you're yet to show
Confined inside a sealed mind, secrets we never speak.
Whats made you stronger makes me proud and also makes me weak.

Whats your outlet when you hit rock bottom?
Whats the limit on the things you've forgotten?
In what hell could i forget your smell
As if my senses were rotten
Were we blissful? or were we small?
Was love the trip, or was it the fall?
Was love the spouts, or was it the brawl?
Was love a part or did you love it all.

Star Thief

Stars in the skies
Trapped in your eyes
As bright as the sun rise
So bright that i might have tried
Anything, just to get inside
Anything, i would have fucking lied
Empathy, nearly fucking died
Humanity, lost its fucking mind
For the value placed on your kind
No one could resit your shine
You should be all mine, mate
Until then its cloud 8.